27 Aug The 3 Life Changing Lessons my First Coach Taught Me
by Nathan Seaward
You never forget you’re first.
Five years ago, I was a complete coaching virgin. And, like any virgin, I had dabbled in a few things online but never had the courage to try the real thing.
I received an email newsletter from him that changed my life. He wrote that he’d been up in the mountains; meditating and deeply reflecting on his life. He had discovered a deep knowing that his life’s path was going to be a spiritual one.
Then he said something that changed everything.
“I’m now committed to reaching the levels of consciousness attained by the likes of Jesus and The Buddha”.
Wow. Who the fuck says that?
I replied to Phil and said that it was a beautiful email and i’d never heard anyone so boldly make a claim like that before.
He offered to take me on a 90 day journey to teach me some of the things that he’d been discovering.
“No thanks. I’m good”.
I was but a shy coaching virgin, after all.
Two weeks later, I went through a bad breakup and subsequently one of the most difficult periods of my life. My rock bottom moment.
“Um Phil, any chance that offer is still on the table?”
What followed was two of the most transformative years of my life and Phil was there every step of the way.
It might surprise you to learn that Phil is a few years younger than me. But his spiritual wisdom and guidance far exceed his human years.
I was lucky enough to have dinner with Phil a few weeks ago and it reminded me of all the things I learned during our time together.
Here are the three biggest things that Phil deeply embedded into my psyche.
(If you’ve worked with me, you might recognise a few of these)
1. Presence over Performance.
It may not be obvious, but the idea of going to a party used to give me heart palpitations. As Stephen Fry once said “I don’t think i’ve ever liked a person as much as I have hated a party”.
Phil taught me the art of presence over performance.
Instead of premeditating everything that was going to happen at a social event (or any human interaction for that matter) and fretting over what i’m going to say and whether or not I would appear interesting, focus simply on being present. Focus on being in the moment with whoever is in front of you.
This is something i’ve carried into every social engagement to this day and it was a game changer for my social anxiety.
2. Everything Happens for my Highest Good
This is the single most empowering belief I hold to this day. The belief that no matter what happens in my life, it is all to take me towards my highest potential.
The deeper rooted belief is that the universe is fundamentally good. Whenever i’m challenged by something in life, I trust that it’s occurring to push me towards something even more aligned.
This single belief has allowed me to stay powerful and trusting, even when times are tough.
3. Celebrate the Wins
The first thing Phil would say on every call was “What are we celebrating?”. At first it used to annoy me. Like, I’m paying to be coached, Phil. Let’s not waste time celebrating things that are going well! We have problems to work on! Big problems!
Phil taught me that a person’s attention naturally gravitates towards what is not working. It’s part of our primal survival mechanism. The thing is, most things in our life are usually going pretty well, we just don’t take time to acknowledge them. Slowing down and being forced to reflect on all the places that my life is extraordinary, gave me a greater sense of gratitude and fulfilment.
Remember, what we focus on, multiplies.
I’d love to hear the most impactful insights and moments that your coaches and teaches have imprinted on you. Drop them in the comments.
It’s fun to remember your first, right? 😜
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